jealousy... BADONGS' DAY...

The title is very very very... i don't know, something... hahaha! hindi maganda... hindi bagay... hindi maayos ang pag kaka contstruct! (spelling?!)

Nagseselos ata ako... Hindi pala "ata"... Nagseselos ako...

Yesterday evening, as I was watching Jako and the boys from NU17 playing DOTA... Sitting beside Jako... Not really beside... More like, at the back... At the back side... Jako's phone rang... And because Jako made his phone stand, I dont know why... Wala lang siguro... I saw the name of the caller register at his LCD... The name was... "Prinsesa ko"

An uncomfertable lump formed in my Laryngopharynx and I found it hard to swllow... And when I did, I just said... "Prinsesa mo tumatawag..." In a ver uncomfortable way... I was really uneasy as they talk... You know why...

The name that registered in my head is "KATH"... And the more I think of it, the more I become more and more... Uncomfortable... I wanted to walk away... But that would make me, what? I don't know... I just thought it was unethical... I forced myself to think... "Si Elein yan... Eh 'di ok..." But my heart refused to believe... And my rational too... "How could Elein know Jasper???" So it's KATH??? why would Jako name Kath as prinsesa niya? The last person I know he named that is... well... Ruth...

I know Jako knew that I felt uneasy... We have an ESPN or something kasi... haha... 'yun... And he knows I wanted to ask him about that... Naramdaman ko yun... At alam niya din na pinipigilan ko lang sarili ko... And I also know that he thought he needed to explain but didn't... Ma-ego kasi yun eh!

Nagseselos ako...

Mahal ko pa si Kath... Mahal ko siya... Dati pa... Remember noon... sabi ko hindi na? Hindi ko alam... Basta, alam ko, mahal ko pa siya... Nakampante lang siguro ako dati kasi akala ko for good na sila ng Patrick na 'yun... Akala ko masaya na siya...

Nagseselos ako ngayon... Nagseselos ako na umiiyak siya sa mga tao at dinadamayan siya nila... Nagseselos ako dahil wala akong magawa sa sobrang dami ng problema na dumadagok sa buhay niya...

Hindi ko alam ano gagawin... Mahal ko siya pero ayaw niya sa ken... Siguro iniisip niya na wala siyang patutunguhan sa ken... Bakla ako eh... Alam na nga ni Sir Uy yun eh... But that's another completely different story...

Hindi ako pwede manligaw... Wala akong pera... AT alam kong walang patutunguhan... hanggang kaibigan na lang kame... Kahit hindi niya sinasabi yun... ni kath... Pero alam kong yun yun!...

Ibig sabihin, habang guhay na akong bakla! ... Kung may papakasalan ako... Si Kath 'yun... Unless... Basta... (hi angela!)

Good luck then Jako... Good luck Kath... I love you!

Ok, I have to go now... Remember, the title said "jealousy... BADONGS' DAY..." ... the second part is for Jen... Today is her nineteenth birthday.. And we are going to her school... We love her..."

Bye guys...