First Entry!!!

Hello!

Thanks for visiting and finding time to read my blog. I can’t really assure you that you’re going to enjoy this online journal of mine but I can tell you that it won’t be an ordinary one.

Ok, so this is my very first entry. You’re lucky (or unlucky? maybe…) that you’re one of the few people (about 697 entities – both normal and not… joke... the joke was the number of entities not the “normal and not” ok? So, where do you belong?) that had the unfortunate chance of reading my blog. You’re reading this blog either I told you to or somebody link this blog to somebody else’s and you mistakenly clicked it or you simply had nothing to do. In any case, thank you for reading it.

Just for the record, you will not read anything romantic or entries full of morals and lessons (which are the same) or something that you will learn anything from. This blog is all about me. All about my adventures and misadventures just like what the name of this blog implies. You won’t read “makabagbag damdaming” entries like that of my Besty, Ramch or of that of my Beshy, Abdul.

So, enough of too much inappropriate introductions. I know by now, your too bored to continue reading and waiting for something interesting. I’m sorry to disappoint you but I don’t have anything interesting to write. None yet, at least. But I will still continue to write as long as I am in the mood for typing.

OK, I’m writing this senseless entry while listening to Kelly Clarkson songs. She became quite a favorite of mine. She’s currently singing “Because You”… I can relate to almost every song that she have. Specially the song “where is your heart” which is playing right now. Here’s why:

I know that you're true to me

You're always thereYou say you care

I know that you wanna be mine

Where is your heart?

Cause I don't really feel youWhere is your heart?

What I really want is to believe you

Is it so hard to give me what I need?

I want your heart to bleedThat’s all I'm asking for

Hey I’m going to write something that I know I will later regret. Oh my God! So why the hell am I going to write it?!

Ok, I currently have a girlfriend. Her name is Suzy Christine Alba. She’s currently studying at La Salle while I’m at Trinity College. I knew I like her the moment I saw her. Well, I first (and last!) saw her at her former school St. Benedict/San Beda Alabang when I attended the YFC thing. One of my bestfriends, Abdul, studied there so he knew quite a lot of people and he, naturally, talked to them and I let myself be tagged along by him. So at one point, I saw Suzy.

She was (and I hope, still) beautiful. So after that YFC thing I asked Abdul for Suzy’s number. I did not have her number until after 3 months. Abdul only had her number after that long. I texted her the moment I had her number. She was currently attending her CAT grad at that time. So, something something then I told her I like her.

So, without seeing each other, I courted her and at one point he texted: “Luv ya dude”. I thought at that point that “kame na.” I thought that if two people exchange I love you’s to each other means they are boyfriends and girlfriends already. I was taught that that is not the case. Abdul and Ramch said by the way. So ok.

Then March 26, while exchanging sweet nothings to each other, she texted something like “mabait akong girlfriend eh” to me. Of course my reaction was “What the – ?! Talaga!?!” So March 26, a Black Saturday we are officially in a relationship.

And believe it or not, we never had seen each other since we first met. January 8 to July 17 is quite along time you know.

So what am I saying here? Nothing!

No, I mean, after 3 monthsaries passed, after all these time, we never tried to see each other. No, we tried but we never did actually see other. That’s all right with me but I just think that it’s not natural. Especially because she does not even demand that we see each other. Ok let me get it straight, she doesn’t seem to love me, I don’t feel any love in this thing we call relationship.

I tried to talk about it with her a couple of times (obviously through text) and asked her about what she thinks about what we have right now. Well, she said that she’s ok with it. What I’m saying is what kind of a lady would like a relationship like what we have. Honestly, if I’m a girl, I wouldn’t like a relationship like this. I would beak it up. That’s exactly what I want to do right now. I just feel, and I know, that it is not real. There is no love. If only I knew it would turn out as it turned out, I wouldn’t have tried to court her in the first place.

But who knows, maybe something good will come up out of this. I really hope something will… And I hope I can do something about this soon. I hope this will not come to the point that I will have to decide to break it up with her. Although I know I already have to, I don’t like to, really.

I mean, there are some relationships that started out pretty good and yet ended up quite bad. I don’t have to name people but they are the ones who once have relationships that I envy so much but now ended up quite sadly. It seems that the only thing that I can see positively in Suzy and my relationship is that there can’t be any worse than what we already have. Wala nang ilalala pa…

I think that’s it for now…

Thanks again for reading!